The Natives

So this week I went to the most magical place in all of Australia... the Featherdale wildlife park.  Just a little drive out of Sydney (thanks Sarz), we got to see a bunch of Austalia's native animals.  I can't remember the last time I went to the zoo, but I like animals and animals like me.  So when I found out we were allowed to interact with the animals, I was like, 'WAHH FOREAL>'  

So I knew Australia has some weird animals due to isolation and whatnot (evolution just went outta control for a while), but there were some animals that were just hysterical.  I knew I was in for a good time.

This, ladies and gentlemen is a Wombat.  They are by far the funniest looking animals at the park.  Imagine a hamster on steroids, then it got dumped by his girl friend and just got fat.  The only interest of this beast is food and water, these guys are the size of a mini-fridge.  Yeah, this thing is HUGE and it just constantly eats.  Though don't be fooled by its harmless appearance, these things stink like BO and something else I can't pinpoint (it's probably poop).  I will say that the best part of the Wombat is the movement of their walk/ waddle.  They've got so much sass when they move, with their fat limbs and round body.  If I could sum up the movement of a Wombat in one word....'Bootylicious'

not pictured: dat ass

ohh.. that's where them leaves at

The Kings of Chill.  The Masters of Relax.  The koalla.  Such a fascinating creature that pretty much does nothing and looks adorable.  As you may know, koallas just sit in trees and eat eucalyptus leaves all day (which contain some chemicals that make the koallas 'relaxed').  I've heard koallas are pretty sedimentary, but at the park, they were pretty active.  They crawled and climbed to tree branches that were shaped in a 'Y', just looking for that perfect sitting spot.  And once settled down, they would just fall asleep.  Yep, the koalla's purpose in life is to be more relaxed than it already is.... and reap the benefits of nature's happy leaves.  

They DO exist!!

The staple of Australia's economy can be based on the existence of kangaroos (citation needed).  Yeah, these hoppity hopping creatures exist and they're AWESOME.  They're friendly creatures that just look lost all the time... unless you have food, then they're all up in you face.  yeah you can hand feed these guys with grains and pellets at the park (note: only attempt with domesticated hoppers).  I should explain, kangaroos only move in two ways: hopping (pretty well known) and crawling.  CRAWLING?? wtf, yeah it sounds weird and it looks worse than it sounds.  Imagine if Golem (LOTR) played leap frog with the ground, the motion is that awkward.  Luckily kangaroos are covered in fur, so it makes them cute.  Another thing that surprised me was the size of kangaroos.  They're pretty small.  I played with a bunch of the baby ones (Joeys i think), but the largest adult one was about the size of a washing machine.  I mean, I didn't think they were gonna be towering over me, but I thought they would be at least the size of a refrigerator.... which is pretty freightening, now that I think about it. 

paint me like one of your french girls

 So, one thing that I took away from kangaroos, is that they're super goofy.  They like to eat pellets and just hop around to wherever the food is.  They're quite attention needy but don't travel in a pack/ herd.  So when you're playing with one, suddenly three or four will hop over and see what's going on.  Oh yeah, I also got to see a mother kangaroo hop around with the little one in the pouch.  It was pretty cool.  And the mother didn't just take it easy cause it had a child on board, it went into a full hoppity bounce (presumably to get away from all the people taking pictures, like myself).  Anyways, I probably spent like 30 minutes in the kangaroo area, but it was definitely the highlight of my visit.  In the future, when I'm great tyrant/ dictator, I think I'd like to have large garden and raise kangaroos where they can hop around to their hearts content and maybe a magnificent tree house for my koalla friends... of course there'd be a sign that says 'No Wombats Allowed'